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The Rottweiler, the poodle and the Jack Russell

By January 31, 2017 No Comments

It’s Monday evening and I’m in the shop after hours.

Lou is by my side, guiding me through some very cool marketing techniques while her loving husband Lee is across the (1.5’ by 4.5’) table interrupting our ‘Google Documents for Dummies’ lesson.

“Frickin’ hell, 100 metres of brake cable for £45,” he yelps, his front grid of sparkling white teeth showing his excitement.

He won’t click purchase just yet, though. He will scan all the other sites.

Lee’s a bargain hunter. He goes to the market with his rucksack on a Tuesday and hunts the best deals. He’ll question why stuff was cheaper last week. He wastes nothing. He’s clean and neat and tidy. He flosses his teeth and always has fresh fruit to hand. He moisturises. He’s a Rottweiler, but a poodle too.

As our good friend Tristan says, “any man who flosses his teeth has got his shit together”.

It’s cold in the shop tonight and each of us is huddled for warmth. Lee’s Christmas hat comes down below his eyebrows and his mitts cover the only parts of his hands that aren’t necessary for typing on a small computer.

“Sweet, a chain tool for €17.99,” he continues, to himself, thrilled at the scent of a bargain.

“Dawling, can we get eight of these,” he quizzes the lady with the Eat Sleep Cycle purse strings, Louise Laker.

A lively debate follows. We all agree that Louise is correct in her assertion that seven is enough and so we purchase seven.

Back to the classroom and Louise is instructing me to “have a go” at making a proposal while she nips to the loo.

I check my phone. I’ve a massage in 25 minutes. I must print 6 sheets for a job I should’ve had done yesterday, get shorts for the massage and hopefully buy carrots to make some soup for afterwards.

Absolutely essential things to do when a company is in its infancy and we have a stack of emails awaiting a reply…

Lou returns from the loo to see the mess I’ve made of a massive group booking proposal for July. She admires what I was “trying to do”….but opens up a new document, nonchalantly presses Delete and the ‘Yes, I’m sure’ button…and starts again.

I shamelessly leave the shop and the two elves instruct me to enjoy my massage.

Two hours later after a good flush from Berta at Gabinet and I’m a new man. The soup was delicious but I am buckled. Time for bed. Or so I thought…

A message from Lee arrives. It’s 22.41. He wants me to upload a certain picture from the Calcotada on Sunday. He’d have done it himself but his internet is down (overworked) at home and he can’t do it on his phone.

The picture has to have me in it. I’m curious. I’m even more curious when he says ‘There is a draft blog “A magnificent day by a magnificent person. I need you to upload Honza’s picture with you and Lucas and publish it on twitter and FB”.

This guy isn’t half demanding….but I do as I’m told. You may or may not have read the blog…but it’s a eulogy to me.

He wrote it in his 18th hour or work yesterday after I left him in a freezing cold shop to quench fire after fire while I went for some carrot soup and a massage.

Louise completed six more proposals as I was having a few tight spots eased from my ageing body.

I’ll wake up from this dream any day now…

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